I am a girl who likes her drink.  And thus I end up with lots and lots of empty bottles in the recycling bin every week.  I have often thought there must be something I can do all these but what?

Candlestick holder?  Vase for a measly rose?  Join a jug band?

Kinda lame (jug band excluded).  If only I could just get rid of that stupid, narrow neck, I would be able to put it to such good use.  After trying to smash the neck off a couple times (yeah, don’t do that), I started to explore my glass cutting options.  After some poking around, I was delighted to find out that I wouldn’t have to invest in pricey glass cutting equipment after all!  I didn’t even have to go to the store to pick up any supplies.  String?  Nail polish remover?  Fire?  In spades at Casa del Sandra.  And whole process is so quick and easy I don’t know why I didn’t know about this a lot sooner.

Now before I go on any further you have to promise me you’re going to be super careful.  K?  SUPER DUPER CAREFUL.  Sharp glass, highly inflammable liquids, very hot fire?   There are only about eleventy billion things that could go wrong. Do this on the kitchen or bathroom with a sink or fire extinguisher nearby.  Pay close attention, don’t be lazy and you should be good and still have a roof over your head at the end.

Now let’s get to it.  First, you will need:

1. An empty liquor bottle you have washed out thoroughly.
2. A bucket full of cold water
3. Butcher’s twine
4. Nail polish remover WITH acetone (please make sure you don’t get non-acetone polish remover meant for fake nails)
5. Sand paper
6. Lighter or match

STEP ONE: Wind the butcher’s twine around the bottle where you want the cut twice.  Tie off and cut excess string.

STEP TWO: Take the string off of the bottle and place in a little bowl or cup full of the acetone nail polish remover.  Make sure it gets nice and saturated with the stuff.  Then fasten the string back on the bottle just like you had it before. 

—->ACHTUNG<—   Get a paper towel or dishcloth and wipe off any nail polish remover that might have dripped down the bottle.  THEN wash and dry your hands thoroughly.  I mean it, Mister. 

STEP THREE:  Now.  Here comes the fun/scary part.  Hold the bottom of the bottle with one hand and light the string with other. 

STEP FOUR: Turn the bottle on its side and slowly rotate it around to make sure you distribute the heat evenly. Once you see the fire is about to burn out (about 10-15 seconds), quickly dunk it (top first) into the bucket full of cold water.  The fire should be completely extinguished and you will hear a pop!  When you pull the bottle out of the bucket, the top half should be gone!  Tada!

(If it’s not that probably means you didn’t let the string burn long enough.  Just try again.)

WAAAAAAIT!  You’re not done just yet.  Those newly formed edges are really, really sharp.  You don’t want to end up in the ER and get stitches after all that. 

STEP FIVE: Gotta sand those babies down.

Ahh, much better. 

OK.  NOW YOU ARE DONE.  So easy and gratifying, no?  Look at that spiffy new vase, planter, cup, thingy holder you made.

Makes a great last-minute gift.  People will think you are magic.  And don’t you go throwing another glass bottle away again or Captain Planet will cry a thousand tears.